So lets see. I think I've only done, what? Two or three of these? I tend not communicate to people since I feel that there are very few that stumble on this place. Which, as of late, I've been trying to make that more and more difficult, by eradicating things that attach these words to my real face.

But anyway. This is in response to Keith's last comment which I have found incredibly wonderful.

I'll start off by saying that I'm not gay. I have no problems with it though, so I take no offense to it. A very wise man once told me "People only get offended because they themselves are insecure about their sexuality" Whether this is true or not, I'm not sure. But I know I can easily say that I'm straight.

Though it's not the first time I've been thought of as gay. Some reasons make more sense than others. I can count the girlfriends I've had on one hand with room to spare. I don't participate the "Would you fuck her?" conversations because I think they're vulgar and disgusting. I have long hair that I actually take very good care of. And I'll totally wear Thing 2's teddy bear hat. My family has thought I was gay for a period of time apparently.

My question would be then, why did you think I might be gay? I'm not upset, just curious in a good nature.

I find it a little funny that you brought up "Out~" because even to me from time to time, it's a little odd. But it's more or less my signature. When I started blogging, I always ended in a line with "And so I'm out." Or something to that effect. But eventually I just streamlined it to be Out~ just to signify "The End" While it's not necessary, I do like holding onto silly habits.

To be honest. After taking a quick look at what Dysthymia is, I wouldn't be surprised if a doctor could pin it on me. BUT I will never let a doctor label my brain like it's some disease. Yes. I get depressed. Some might even say that it's a dangerous thing. People have actually told me it's a dangerous thing. But, it happens to be a part of my mind. And to get rid of it, there will be a price. Whether it's monetary because my family would have to pay for therapy, or my health because someone gives me some pills, I refuse to pay it. I've learned to live with it.

Besides. The night is the companion to the day, and nobody goes around trying to eradicate it.  

Oh and when I still talked to Star, she told me enough about being a teenager with any kind emotional disorder. It scarred her. Because despite what I write on the blog, there are certain things I don't write. And when I told Star about them, she warned me never to tell a professional about it.

Personally, I feel that if anything, all this is just a test. A crucible of sorts. Because as a human, we all try to get away from things that are not pleasurable. And just like a human, I try to get away from negative feelings. So I slowly evolve to become a better, happier person.

And I'm still 17, I have a decent amount of years left. 

Out~

Taking a teenager's advice on mental health, more or less somebody that has evidently not had a good time with therapy and been labeled for it probably isn't one of the greatest perspectives to take. Therapists aren't all evil clinicians who are out to turn you into a drugged out robot. If you have something that you need help with, you pay the to listen, and they will in turn do the best they can to help you out of a predicament.

I refused to ever consider myself somebody who needed any kind of counseling or therapy for years. I thought "shrinks are for whack jobs, I'm fine, I'm not crazy". And I'm not crazy, but it took me a long time to realize that there are certain things that no matter how hard you wish they could leave you and stop controlling you they won't until you face them down, and that can bring you a lot more personal insight into parts of yourself that for whatever reason you refused to access. It's not all Freudian all people are obsessed with sex and want to do their parents type stuff either.



In a nutshell, seeing a shrink is just a resource available for you if you decide you want to see one. It has to be YOUR call ultimately though, or else nothing good can come of it.


And dude, I wouldn't say you have dys whatever this and that or bipolar disorder or anything like that. Lot's of people experience some kind of "darkness" or whatever you would like to call it at some point in their lives. Some embrace it, and that is perfectly healthy. It will show you new things every time you tap into it. There are others who live with a darkness that is damaging or traumatic though, and simply embracing that isn't always an option. That's when they seek help. Keep an open mind though, which I feel funny saying because it's fairly obvious that you're already very open minded.

See ya round.