Okay, now that this had decided to work with me, I'll continue.

I found out a couple things today, but before I move into that, I want to talk about something that I got to thinking about yesterday.

There is a term that is used in the very cool language of Latin that goes a little something like this: Deus Ex Machina

Which means God from the Machine. It came from the fact that in Greek drama, there was a machine that would suspend actors above the set to indicate that they are divine. This is the more literal meaning I guess. How it is used now is as follows: A plot is solved by more or less a divine intervention.

IE: In War of The Worlds. All the Aliens end up dying because of a virus on Earth that they have no immunity to. While this is plausible. This is a rather anti-climactic ending. If this doesn't quite fit, here's another example. In a novel (I can't remember the name or author right now) there is a virus that's killing off humans. And then it is rendered, quite suddenly, useless because of a mutation that seems to affect every single virus.

Basically when this happens. It's a shitty ending. Which makes sense. What's the point of the characters going through all this stuff if their problems are going to be solved magically at the end.

Personally, I thought the 4th Twilight book had a Deus Ex Machina ending. Everything just turned out okay. There was no real struggle. Alice comes in and saves the day. Bing bang boom. No problem.

But this got me thinking. What if there was a human that could do that? What if there was a person that ran around calling themselves the Deus Ex Machina?

So here's the idea. There's a story about a rather average man, who all of a sudden is bestowed with the amazing powers of complete control over every aspect that is controlled by the human mind. Because, face it. In any equation, the main problem is the human factor. We're not perfect. In a plot to actually do something, when it fails, it's usually due to some kind of mistake or deviation from the plan by a human element.

But this man would be able to make the human aspect an absolute.

He needs money? He asks you for it and you have to comply. If he wants to intimidate you, he messes with your senses. He can make you think you're looking at anything he wants. He can make you feel anything he wants. He could make your heart stop beating.

To me, it's a scary and exciting concept.

From this little avenue of thought, I got onto another topic that I like to think about a lot. What if I had the ability to feel, and manipulate emotions? I've always been really sensitive to what other people are feeling. Which is why I really don't like sad people and I love making them feel better. But that's besides the point.

The point really, is a moral one. If I had this ability, would it be right to use it?

It really doesn't affect free will, which of course would be a moral no-no. See, emotions are like filters in which you see the world. It really doesn't change what's in front of you, but it does change the conclusions you might reach. Making the ability to manipulate emotions a very useful tool.

If there was someone that was sad, would it be okay to just make them happy? Would it be okay to make someone getting up to perform less nervous? Would it be okay to make a crowd more interested in what you had to say? Would it be okay make someone like you more so that you got a job? Would it be okay if you made someone fall in love with you? Would it be okay to make someone come to a murderous rage?

See. It kind of escalates. Because as I thought about it, it started out like. Oh, it would be cool if I could make so and so happy, because they seem to be sad so much. And if I could make them happy, what would happen to them if I made them comfortable in a setting that usually paralyzes them? Well now that that works, oh shit I got a bad grade on my test. But hey! My teacher is considering a curve that would bring my test grade to something good. A little nudge, and I now have an 80. Ah, I hate that guy who's been an asshole to me. I'll get his boss to hate him...and oops, he got fired.

Even though I always think myself as a person of morals. I, like all humans, would continue on my testing of a power that has a huge sway on the people around me. It would be like a frog in water that's steadily getting warmer. He's boiled alive before he knows what's going on.

But even though I know it will probably end up with something that consumes me. I'd be happy to take my chances with it. Although obviously it would have rules that work on a logical level, and that would probably keep me from doing something drastic. Just like muscles, you have to get good at the mile before you can run a marathon.

So now today.

I got my cell phone, and I got a bit of money. I also got this fleece jacket thing. I don't know how often I'm going to wear it, but hell, it'll come in handy when walking Sage and such. I also got a pretty neat ring from them. How they got my ring size, and the knowledge of the fact I like rings and bracelets is beyond me.

The cell is awesome. I'm very happy with it. Of course I'm going to need to negotiate with my Dad so that I may get some texting. Because even though he knows that I'd rather text than call someone, he put me under a plan in which it's 20 cents per normal text. Both ways. That's obscene if you ask me. Under that plan Squid would spend roughly $1000 each month.

So I'm gonna have to change that. I'm also going to need to get some contacts. Seeing as I was only able to put two in. S and Yellow are the only two that are currently in there.

I've also learned that the more you talk about something, the easier it actually is to talk about. Something that I've always hid, I've told two people within the last couple days, and it was relativly painless the second time I did it. It was so painless I felt utterly retarded saying it. I might bring it up in group now.

HAHAHA I'M BREAKING FREE.

I think that's how it's going to work out. I'm going to have mini meetings with people that I trust. IE: Star, Howster, Brother. Who knows, maybe I'll end up talking to S. OH YEAH, and also Ken...maybe. If I can trust her after all this time. And then I'm going to bring it to the group and come out with it. And after that, maybe the blackness will slowly seep out and mingle with the spinning plates. And they'll create something that's solid and working, that is neither fake or depressed all the time.

Oh, I'm going to create a codex for myself, seeing as these codenames are starting to become too much to handle. Seeing as I want to know their FULL names, and the reason why I actually came up with the alias. Seeing as I like how I came up with some of them.

Out~